she's six today. actually, she was six at 4:07 a.m. this morning ... a fact she made sure she had squared away before going to bed last night, so she would know if she *was waking up six* or *should wish herself a happy sixth birthday at some point later in the day.*
that's how she rolls.
she's a nut. she's a goofball. she's witty. she's impetuous. she's quick to change emotions - one minute is status quo, the next is tears, the next is giggles. she's drama. she's impatient. she's short-attention-spanned. she's super sweet. she's flippantly polite. she's smart, but she's always got something better to do than sit and go over something more than once. she's dreamy. she's girly. she think she's an eleven-year-old boy. she's got such an old soul sometimes. she has a look that takes my breath away with its beauty and sincerity. she could sit and watch "little bear" and "miss spider's sunny patch friends" for hours. she says she wants to play her gameboy, but what she really wants to do is hold her gameboy while she watches her brother play HIS gameboy. she loves mushrooms, seafood, edamame. she won't eat a hot dog. she can take me from exasperation to laughter in mere seconds. she ruins just about every mealtime and has, consistently, for six years. she's long and leggy and lanky and gorgeous. she can make herself burp on command and wants so badly to learn to armpit fart. she is learning to read, but would really rather supply her own words for the story than read the ones on the page. she looks so, so much like her dad, but those cheeks are mine, and the hairline is all her own. she's amazing. she's a blessing.
and i will do my best to instill in her that she's perfect. not in that "i can get away with anything i want because my mom thinks i'm perfect" way, but in the "i'm enough, and no one can ever tell me i'm not" way.
i want her to be stronger and surer of herself than i ever was. i want her to be able to tell me anything, bring all her fears and sadness and happiness and questions to me. i want to protect her, and i want to build her up. i pray for her safety and her happiness. i wonder about the world in which she will grow and become a woman.
i tell her she can be anything she says she wants to be: a beader, a fisherman, a dress designer, an oyster diver, a chef, an artist. i tell her she can marry, or not. i tell her she can have kids, or not. i tell her she can live next door or move to hawaii. i tell her the future is up to her and there's really no wrong answer, so long as she's smart and follows her sense of right and wrong and god.
i hope she has few regrets. and many happinesses.
this post was supposed to be a recap of her lovely birthday and her lovely party with her lovely friends ...
but the truth is, the only important thing i have to say about her birthday is that it was the best day of my life. it was the day i was complete. i needed this girl. my family was amazing before she was born, but it was perfect after. she was the final piece of the puzzle. and everything that she is, all the good and all the not so much, is a gift that god gave me. i don't ever get religious on my blog - i consider my faith to be personal - but there is a verse that has meant so much to me for six years, and it will be written on harper's doorway as the new house is being built:
1 samuel 1:27: i have prayed for this child, and the lord has granted me what i asked of him.
happy birthday, sweet girl.