Work In Progress

snowflake/xmas/2012 wrap-up

(don't be afraid: this post will be way less wordy and ambitious than the title suggests. i'm just sweeping the past 10 days under the rug in one big whoosh.)

we left off with snowflake bidding us adieu ... we were off to indiana for the christmas holiday. harper was a bit worried about snowflake finding us, but never fear ... she awoke to gray kitty dangling outside her bedroom door on saturday morning, clinging onto a note from snowflake that stated she would meet us in indiana, after running a quick errand for santa.

relief.

10 hours in the car later ... we were at my parents'. and it was good. until we discovered at bedtime that harper had failed to pack her pajamas. this did not go over well. in fact, it's a wonder she calmed down enough to go to sleep. but she did, and i promised her i would find her some pajamas on sunday.

the next morning, harper was so excited to see if snowflake had, indeed, found us ... and sure enough, there she was: sitting on the fireplace mantle. WITH gray kitty.

and she had a note for harper, along with a present. apparently, santa had heard about harper's lack of jammies, and allowed snowflake to bring an early gift: harp's xmas eve jammies. (this actually solved a myriad of problems: how to dress harp for bed on the night before the night before christmas; how to give jammies to harp without giving some to henry, who had said he was "done" with santa this year; how to not raise questions from harp if wyatt and nora didn't get jammies, since the pjs are our tradition, not theirs.) harper was thrilled ... and even more so when she discovered that santa had also brought matching pajamas for julie, her american girl doll.

and there was peace.

later that morning, my aunts and uncles and cousins and their families from my dad's side were over, and there was a lot of noise and talking and catching up.

marc and the kids and i managed to sneak away for two hours to meet up with one of my oldest and dearest friends, katie, and her family. we had a great visit, wondered how we can get together more often than once every four years or so, and harper appeared to make a new friend of her own: their daughter, abbie.

monday morning, christmas eve, snowflake was again hanging out in a tree. her farewell ... watching over us all day long.

we went through all of our xmas eve traditions: last minute shopping (i had forgotten to pack harper's santa gift, among other things (like, practically every stocking stuffer, etc.), last minute wrapping, and then the fun stuff ... hanging stockings, writing letters to santa, reading "'twas the night before christmas," playing games and snacking and so forth. and then it was time for christmas.

amazingly, the kids let us sleep until 7:30 christmas morning. when they got up, they immediately went out to check their stockings. harp came running over to me: gray kitty was in her hands, and in gray kitty's hands was a rolled-up note. from snowflake. telling harper how much she will miss her this year, to be good, and to look on her ipod ...

harp went running to the bedroom and returned with her ipod. she turned it on and there, on her lock screen, was this:

can you see it? harper, sleeping, snuggled with julie, and snowflake and gray kitty snuggled up with her as well.

her eyes were huge. "snowflake snuggled me?!" she asked. "how did she take a picture??" "i don't know," i told her. "maybe santa took it."

oh. man. she was over the moon.

(even now ... if you ask her what her favorite gift was, she'll tell you it is the picture of snowflake sleeping with her. so totally worth the riskiness of getting said photo.)

and then ... christmas. and all of its joy and craziness.

and to spare you endless scrolling ... here's the holiday weekend in one neat spot:

and an extra pic of wyatt and nora, because they are stinkin' cute.

on wednesday, we were to have another gathering with my mom's side of the family, but a winter storm blew through, dumped a bunch of snow (5" is "a bunch" in indiana), so no one drove around, the gathering was cancelled, and we went sledding and ate snacks all day long.

decent trade-off.

and then it was over. 10 more hours in the car on thursday, and we were home.

then i got sick.

now it's monday, and i'm still sick. so much for new year's plans. i'm just going to assume that this means 2012 is going out like a lion, and 2013 will come in like a lamb.

or something like that. who knows. i've been drugged and napping for the past four days.

tomorrow we wake up with a fresh start, and on wednesday the kids go back to school and i will make eggs benedict for me and marc to celebrate a quiet house, and then i start making lists. because that's what i do every year on january 2nd. projects and cleaning and personal "to do"s and grocery re-stocking ... i have a brand new notebook all ready to go.

so, i raise my 2 tb of nyquil to you with wishes of a happy new year! see you in 2013.

 

snowflake round-up

it's been a week. time for more of snowflake's adventures ...

day 17: she decided to hang out in the tree, snuggled with gray kitty, and spend the day looking out the window.

day 18: harper came home from school and decided to draw pictures of reindeer for everyone she knows. that night, snowflake drew some reindeer of her own for harp.

(by the way: my daughter draws some great reindeer, in case you were wondering.)

day 19: harp had made a little "dressing room" for julie, her american girl doll. she had all the shoes and accessories lined up. (which sounds way fancier than it is; she has three pairs of shoes, and the purse and belt that came with julie. "accessories" might be overstating.) snowflake and gray kitty did a little "trying on" and got caught.

day 20: harp awoke to find snowflake had baked her some special snowflake cookies. she decided they must be "north pole" cookies because they were really crispy and tasted "kind of like a cracker." and then they got sweet. and she ate three for breakfast.

day 21: yesterday, harper's class had a gingerbread house party. the kids all made and decorated their own gingerbread houses. harp's house was ... minimal. however, her yard was landscaped within an inch of its life: gingerbread man making a "snow angel" in the frosting and shaved coconut snow, a marshmallow snowman, two gingerbread men riding on a sled she made out of a candy corn and candy cane-shaped sprinkles, etc.

so this morning, we found snowflake had added some visitors. to my countertop. gonna have to scrub that down tonight when snowflake ... flies away.

continuing with the light & cheery and "christmas spirit." trying. i'm writing again - elsewhere - for an online magazine called "get born." the article i'd planned for the 18th, my day, got scrapped at 1:30 a.m. that morning. i couldn't sleep. the thoughts of sandy hook kept rolling through my brain and heart, and i couldn't stop crying. so i got up and wrote, and this is what happened. it helped a little, but my emotions are still raw. the idea that these beautiful children were taken the way they were ... that the last thing they saw in their lives was evil ... i'm having a hard time shaking that. maybe it's because i am a writer; the only way i can truly convey emotions and feelings is to be able to put myself in the shoes of the person and feel. and right now i feel too much. i look at harper and think: she's seven. last christmas, she was right where those kids were ... first grade, no front teeth, sweet little face, thinking only of christmas and all things wonderful and good. and my heart breaks. for those kids ... for their parents and families ... for that school. and i get so mad that it happened at all.

so to focus on snowflake and getting through the month with my christmas spirit intact for my own kids ... that's what is keeping me going. otherwise, i'm not sure i'd be looking forward to the holiday much at all this year. right now, all i want is peace and time with those i love. hopefully, that will be easy enough.

snowflake - days 11 through 16

right now, i'm so thankful for that crazy elf that i can't even say. my heart and mind have been so mired in friday's events in connecticut that all the christmas spirit that i'd tried desperately to flame into existence this year was extinguished completely. somehow, christmas music seems all wrong, and planning festivities seems so inappropriate. "heartbroken" doesn't seem quite right for what this is. neither does "furious" or "horrified." i look at my sweet little girl, born in 2005 like so many of the victims, and i can't even begin to put myself in the shoes of so many families.

and yet, you keep going. you have to. and you create yet another magical morning for that little girl who so looks forward to it, and who cannot wait to hop out of bed in the morning to see where snowflake landed.

christmas will come. it will be different - at least for parents - but christmas will come.

and so will snowflake.

on the 11th, snowflake sat atop the most relevant word of the season: believe.

we all need belief. in faith. in magic. in hope. in love. in goodness. in peace. without the belief that those things are possible, the worst elements in this world will win.

on the 12th, snowflake and gray kitty sent harp on her way with a little mudroom encouragement:

on the 13th, snowflake and gray kitty found themselves a little hiding spot in the kids' bathroom, and brought nightlights along just in case:

on the morning of the 14th, when all was still right with the world, snowflake and gray kitty dressed in crowns and pretties, and took a drive to the sliding doors, to watch the sun come up.

friday night, after henry's swim meet, harper asked if she could make her own bed of pillows and blankets on the floor of her room and sleep there. we said yes, and snowflake apparently needed to be snuggled nearby ... just out of reach of harper's feet so she wouldn't accidentally be kicked, but close enough to feel safe. on the morning of the 15th, harper found her elf there as soon as she awoke:

this morning, harper had to look all over before finally finding snowflake and gray kitty in the basement. they had been busy overnight, decorating a small tinsel tree that is in the tv room, and putting together a paper chain. (a paper chain that fell apart in numerous links all night long. apparently, it's been so long since i used scrapbook adhesive that it just wasn't sticky anymore. poor snowflake.)

and tonight snowflake will fly somewhere else, and do something else that will delight harper in the morning. and then harp will eat some pancakes, brush her teeth, and hop on a bus for her last monday of school in 2012, where they will talk about building gingerbread houses on thursday, and pajama day on friday. and all of the teachers will look at those eager, trusting, beautiful faces, knowing that a "normal day in elementary school" will never be "normal" again.

day 4, 5, & 6 with snowflake

(i just can't update snowflake every day. i'm not that kind of girl.)

snowflake's visit continues to bring harper joy each morning ... with all the "where is she?" ... "how'd she get there?" ... "isn't she amazing?"

on snowflake's fourth day here, she and gray kitty hung out on the ceramic deer head on the mantle all day.

on the fifth day, snowflake was a bit trickier: she and gray kitty took a swing on the mudroom ceiling light.

we were under harper's strictest orders all. day. long. that we couldn't turn on the light because it would burn and/or blind poor snowflake and gray kitty. which made it really interesting to come home from swimming at 6 p.m. and put away shoes and coats in near pitch darkness.

today, day six, harper awoke and immediately checked downstairs for her elf ... and found that snowflake had painted her a picture in the middle of the night. harper had painted her own picture before bedtime (of tulips and ants and a solar eclipse and an alien in a spaceship. true story.) and failed to pick up those paints, so snowflake got artsy, too. thus inspiring harp to wonder what else she could leave out for snowflake at the end of the day ...

regardless, harper was thrilled with her picture.

tonight: henry's first swim meet with the high school/junior high team; his first school dual meet. he's excited, i'm excited, harper's griping about having to go.

maybe snowflake can bring her some cheese to go with that whine tomorrow.

adventures with snowflake: final week

i can finally wrap up snowflake's adventures with us. christmas has come and gone, family has come and gone, my ability to breathe has come and gone, and snowflake has officially scooted back to the north pole until next year.

day 20 started with snowflake crocheting herself a scarf out of sparkly "elf string," as harper called it. later in the day, harper realized the wreath i made for the front door also included elf string. whoops.

day 21, snowflake, gray kitty, and their friends yoshi, pink penguin, and puffles one, two, and three were caught playing an exciting game of scrabble.

day 22, snowflake got up early and prepared harper a last-day-of-school-for-2011 lunch of nutella, peanut butter, chocolate truffles, chickpeas, and, of course, syrup. gray kitty's contribution was a tin of sardines.

day 23, snowflake left harper a recipe for an elf's favorite cookie. we kinda ran out of time to make the cookies. maybe tomorrow.

day 24, snowflake's last with us. she was found on the fireplace mantle with a stack of presents for harper, henry, and wyatt (a new christmas book for each of them), and a note saying how much fun she had with us in december.

see  you in 11 months, snowflake!

and perhaps i'll get to a christmas recap later this weekend. then again, perhaps not. we'll see if the nyquil plays nice with my ability to recall and put words together. typing this post has worn me out in itself.

 

happy new year!

adventures with snowflake: day 16-19

nothing like four days in one.

of course, that's kind of par for the course around here. i feel like i have to do four days' worth of stuff every single day.

gah.

but onto snowflake ...

friday morning, harper had to look a little harder than usual. but she finally found snowflake and gray kitty on a shelf in the kitchen with some christmas decorations. guess they were having a "snowmen at night" sort of adventure.

on saturday morning we awoke to donuts on the table. snowflake must have brought us breakfast ... and she had some for herself, as well ...

harp begged us all day to please let her try an elf donut. we finally said okay, seeing that snowflake hadn't eaten any all day. harper took one of the chocolate with sprinkles, popped it in her mouth, and said, "mom! elf donuts taste just like cheerios but sweeter!"

go figure.

sunday morning, snowflake and gray kitty were playing hard to get. or hide and seek. probably hide and seek.

harper was so tickled with snowflake yesterday that she drew her a lovely picture. and wrote her a lovely note that read "i love you, elf!" and wrapped it all up in 12 layers of wrapping paper. this morning, when she came downstairs, she saw snowflake under the tree ... with her present all unwrapped.

harper was giddy.

five more days.

i have to admit, i might miss snowflake a little.

oh - by the way - we went to see santa yesterday:

and table update: still no word from pottery barn. sure would like it if they would at least get back to us to tell us that we are screwed. seems to me that would be the polite thing to do.

i swear, "polite" doesn't exist anymore. it's sad, really.

adventures with snowflake: day 14 & 15

yesterday, snowflake & gray kitty worked a jigsaw puzzle ...

today we discovered that at some point in the night, snowflake decided to add some sparkle to the garland in the loft window. and it didn't go well. and when gray kitty tried to help, it didn't go well for her, either.

what's that, you say? on day 14 they appear to be sitting on a real piece of furniture? well, yes, indeed. our dining room table finally arrived, after a two month saga. that is still going.

during the process of designing our house, we found the bennett dining table at pottery barn and decided it was exactly almost what we wanted. we (i) wanted something rustic, long & narrow, reclaimed. this was the not-reclaimed version of that vision. but the dimensions were perfect for the space allotted for dining, and fully extended this table will seat 10-12 people, which is what we need. so we decided either we'd find someone who could make a real reclaimed wood table, and i sent out several email queries, or we would, worst case scenario, get the pottery barn one.

around the time we closed on the house, it had become clear that having a table made wasn't in the cards. the people who actually bothered to return my emails were either a) not getting it, or b) out of our budget. so back to pottery barn we went. and the table was marked down. marc and i talked it over and decided to pull the trigger.

three days after discovering the marked down price, we called to order it. as the story of my life goes, the table was, at that point, discontinued and nowhere to be found.

seriously.

the person i spoke with looked in the computer and told me that there were four tables left. "in the warehouse?" i asked. "in the country," she replied. all four were currently floor models ... three in california, one in arizona.

upside? all were marked down even further.

so i called all four of those stores. one didn't get back to me, one no longer had the table, one was helpful, but said the table wasn't in great condition, and the third - the arizona store - said yes, they have the table and it was only ever used in the window display and it's in good shape and they could get it to us.

if we work it out with ups.

so we called ups with the dimensions and weight, and found a table that size would cost us $1,700 to ship freight.

i threw up a little.

that was more than twice the cost of the table after markdowns!

so trey, the uber-helpful guy at pottery barn in arizona, and i discussed our options and ways around freight charges. then marc was telling me that a friend of ours runs a shipping company, and he could get one of his trucks to get it to us for about $300.

sold.

so two mondays ago, the truck went to pick up the table ... and found it wrapped in an unsatisfactory way. (one month of the delay was all about trying to find a box for the darn thing, and ending up with the pottery barn stock guys creating their own box out of other boxes. apparently, 10' long boxes aren't readily available.) three days later, the truck showed up again, said the boxing was now good, and started the trip to minnesota.

monday evening, we got word that the table was in. we had, literally, 90 minutes to get henry to swimming, drive 20 minutes to the warehouse, load the table into my suv, drive 20 minutes home, unload the table, drive back to pick up henry from swimming. and it all worked out perfectly, except that because both seats had to be down, harper had to ride freestyle all the way home. which made me ill, and made her giggle.

but we finally, after two months, had it in our house. marc went to build it and found that one leg had worked itself loose, but it wasn't anything a little wood glue wouldn't fix. then he found he was short two bolts, two nuts, and a 2" piece of dowel. nothing a trip to the hardware store first thing tuesday morning wouldn't fix. just before lunch, and just before leaving on a plane for a business trip, marc had the table ready to go. and it looks perfect in the room.

then i said the fateful words, "lets pull out the leaves to see how it looks fully extended."

um ...

no leaves.

are you kidding me?

that was two days ago. still haven't heard back from trey as to where our leaves are. however, if they are gone, we're up a creek without a table. and we're back to square one. and now we have to somehow get rid of this table that took us two months to get in the first place. because even though it's totally functional without the leaves, we need to seat more than six people. that was the whole friggin' point all along.

(must. control. stress.)

all of this is coming on top of so much other stress and uncertainty, and i'm at the edge. this morning i got up, got the kids off to school, went back to bed to sleep another hour and get rid of a crazy headache, and woke up at 11. i think my body is telling me it's done.

so tonight i will again call trey in arizona and see what he knows. and i will wait for marc to get home from his trip ... his flight has been delayed for the past two hours, so who knows if he'll even get here tonight. and i will go up and referee the fight that seems to have broken out upstairs in the past two minutes. and i will try to keep the big picture in mind and realize that, in the scheme of things, these are not big problems.

adventures with snowflake: day 13

today is a grumpy kind of day. it's gloomy, warm, the crappy inch of snow we had just melted ... for the first time in six years we'll be home for christmas, and the likelihood of it being white is pretty slim. whine whine whine.

i'm in a foul mood all around, but the elf made us giggle this morning.

snowflake helped herself and gray kitty to the four elf food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corn, and syrup.

little elfin sugar high.

adventures with snowflake: day 10, 11, 12

catching up, before my head hits the keyboard and i start to snore.

saturday, harper came down the stairs and found snowflake hanging out on the wreath on the entryway barn door ...

sunday morning, snowflake decided since we hadn't yet lopped off the 18" tall vertical branch on the top of the tree to make it short enough for our star, she might as well be the tree-topper ...

and this morning, her herbaceous tour of the home continued as she and gray kitty climbed the bamboo ...

maybe tomorrow snowflake will have the time and energy to be a bit more creative.

adventures with snowflake: day 9

harper's excitement could not be contained this morning.

here's why:

a) snowflake was having a tea party.

b) with ariel and swimmer barbie.

c) who are harper's bath barbies.

d) and she hasn't seen them since we moved.

e) but snowflake found then and got them all dressed up.

f) and found a table and dishes.

g) "but mama, i don't HAVE a table and dishes!"

h) "snowflake is magical!"

 

this elf thing is kinda magical.

silly me for resisting so long.