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let the countdown begin!!

thanksgiving is over (wanna see pix? i'll share ... you know i will!), so i can now officially focus on christmas. marc pulled seven boxes of holiday schtuff out of the garage yesterday so i could begin the decorating process. all of the house stuff is out, so now i need to work on the garlands and get those done so this weekend can be all about the TREE. love this time of year!

it's gonna be a crazy month, but at least at the end will be my favorite holiday of the year. this week is full-up ... i'm going to a pre-wedding celebratory yee-ha skin care thing (yeah ... isn't that a good description?) for my lovely friend nisa tomorrow night, along with girlies susan and kirsten, nisa's mom, and, i believe, her future sil. (correct me if i'm wrong, nisa.) i've never done a pre-wedding celebratory yee-ha skin care thing before, so it should be fun. and even if it's not, i'll be with people i love, so any bad will be canceled out.

then on wednesday we're having our friends dave & jess over for a late dinner (ie after kids are in bed), and on friday henry tests for his black belt. wow. but that only means we'll be at the taekwondo school pretty much every day of the week for regular classes as well as private lessons. say a little prayer for the kid ... he's gonna need it.

saturday we'll try to get the tree, henry goes to a b'day party, and we're having our neighbor, sean, over for some steaks as a thank you for watching our cat (back in september, but whatever.). sunday we're going to another neighbors' home for a holiday open house/meet the new neighbors in the 'hood/eat appetizers and drink wine kind of thing.

and then marc heads to north carolina for seven days, and possibly chicago for two days. then we'll take off for indiana (again) for christmas. silver lining? i should see two of my dearest girlfriends and their families for the first time in two years. ahh!!!!

oh, and finish xmas shopping. think since we'll be in indiana i'll be doing the rest via the internet and just have it shipped to our final destination. no need schlepping it twice.

sigh. good times, the holidays. bwahahaha.

regardless, the snowmen are out in full-force at my house and that makes me happy. so it's all good.


happy thanksgiving!!

Rszfampic

yes, technically it was yesterday. but i didn't have the time or inclination to post yesterday. the food was great, the family had a wonderful time just hanging out and being together, the weather was beautiful - upper 40s and nice enough to go outside for pix and to let the kids run off their meal (well, henry and his cousin, kayla, anyway. harper at nothing. seriously.).

marc's family made the trip up from indianapolis ... his parents, his brother steve and his wife, hannah, and his sister laura and her husband, brett, and their daughter, kayla. our house is full, but the noise just means that everyone is here and having a good time.

today we head downtown to go through the dayton's marshall field's macy's walk-through story, grab some dinner, then stay for the holidazzle parade. i'm sure we'll have traffic and parking issues, but it should be worth it. when the weather is this nice and warm at the end of november in minnesota, you don't take it for granted!

and from what i hear, tomorrow the big people will brave the mall of america. egads. we'll see if we make it out the other side of this holiday weekend in one piece. i hope so, because sunday is my favorite day of the year - the official kick-off to christmas!!!

happy leftovers, y'all!


marc.

Buscard ... called last night, said a lot of things, got a lot of air cleared.
... got on the same page with me.
... left milwaukee at 4:30 a.m., got home at 10:30, changed clothes, and walked back out at 11.
... might be home for dinner.
... is working for his dream company and finding it may not be the best thing right now.
... could make a lot of money if he stays. but the cost may be too high.
... finally gets that i do a lot. and doesn't know how i haven't gone nuts yet.
... promises to help more when he's around.
... might not be around much.
... wants to have his cake and eat it too. i can't blame him for that.

next week, maybe, we'll have some time. maybe we'll see him. at least for thanksgiving. everyone gets thanksgiving off, don't they?


mememememe ... challenge

decided to take sophia's meme challenge on 2ps today. i'm sort of wiped out after yesterday, and wanted to post a little happy today. and i just got off the phone from a long, happy conversation with my dear friend heather (hi, heather!!) who moved to texas almost nine months ago and whom i miss very often. so good to have long, happy talks on the phone.

one. I am worn out
two. marc knows me best
three. I feel fat
four. the most important thing in my life is my family
five. I always carry chapstick
six. I think therefor i'm able to get up and get dressed and get on with it
seven. I’m at my happiest when the house is clean and there's nothing pressing to do
eight. on a Monday morning, you can find me in the same spot as tuesday morning, wednesday morning, thursday ...
nine. my favorite food ingredient is cinnamon
ten. my eyes need new contacts ... these are killing me
eleven. my favorite material possession is my camera
twelve. to relax, I like to put on music i enjoy, read a book or magazine, and ignore everything else
thirteen. the town I live in is good enough for right now
fourteen. my worst habit is picking my nose out of fear that things are hanging from it
fifteen. my guilty pleasure is reading the gossip column on e! online
sixteen. when I look at someone, the first thing I see is their eyes and whether they are an expressive feature
seventeen. I think i answered this question under #6
eighteen.  I can live without mosquitos. i mean really, who can't?
nineteen.  I wish I had all the answers
twenty. my life is okay for now


men suck. and here's why.

okay ... i'm going to add a prologue to this post. i wrote it at 5:30 a.m. when i was tired and pissed off. and over the course of the morning i moved from pissed to scared. i'm scared of what my marriage is becoming. and it's the little stuff ... like what happened at 5:00 this morning, that worry me the most.

people say not to sweat the small stuff, but really it's the small stuff that makes or breaks us. too many small things adding up become too heavy to bear, too much of a burden to carry, too much to handle by yourself. it's the small stuff that drips drips drips into everyday life and eventually drives you crazy.

when marc and i were dating, it was pretty apparent that he had no experience with being in a relationship. but over the years, sadly, he didn't seem to learn a whole lot. and now, almost fourteen years later, i'm starting to be less mad at him and more mad at me. i knew he wasn't thoughtful or romantic or compassionate, but i knew he was ambitious and organized and stable and those things were more important. and they still are. but i need to have a little compassion from him, a little thoughtfulness beyond what he writes on a mother's day card. and a romantic moment? i'd kill for one of those.
. . . . . . . . .

so, if marc hasn't figured out over the past ten years that i have a hard time going back to sleep after being awakened any time after, oh, 4 a.m., then he's an idiot. just because HE can sleep anytime, anywhere, doesn't mean everyone can. especially when history backs up that fact.

so this morning, 5 a.m. to be exact. i'm sound asleep and harper starts crying. so what does marc do? rolls over just enough so that his elbow makes contact enough to wake me up so i hear harper. because apparently the one thing he has learned over the past ten years is that i'll immediately get up and fix whatever the problem is. so i do. then i come back, call him a selfish prick, and boom. am wide awake.

and he leaves again today at lunch time for another two to three days away on business. and this morning he'll be away installing some thing that he's been putting off for weeks, so on top of everything else i'll have to take henry to school which means i'll have to get harper up because since she woke up at 5 a.m. - and is actually still up - she'll want to sleep until 8 a.m. but that won't happen because daddy had to watch the football game yesterday instead of running to st paul to install his whositwhatsit. and lucky me ... i get to start yet another bout of single-motherhood in a piss-ass mood and tired.

thank so much, sweetie. i appreciate the thoughtfulness.

this has been happening a lot lately, this lack of compassion and understanding for what i'm going through because of his new job. i did NOT sign up to be a single mom, regardless of how much he's getting paid. i can't do it alone, and when he's here he needs to know he's here. marc's a great dad, but i really need for him to be a great husband, too.

it doesn't help that he was raised with the notion that he's perfect. i can't reinforce that little ego-trip because i don't believe it. no one's perfect, and we all need to work on stuff. i know that i need to work on many, many things. but if he would make me want to be better, i might try harder. at this point, i just don't care anymore.


today i am grateful for ...

i've belonged to a private scrapping group for a couple of years now, and i adore those women and the bond we have. but lately i haven't had the time to really invest in chatting, and i miss them and our daily "talks." one thing i really miss, though, are the friday lists of gratitude. so today i'm making my own, right here, because even though it's been a hell of a month, it's friday. and that means i have a whole weekend to (hopefully) recharge. so today i'm grateful for:

1. marc arrived home safely from milwaukee, with a dozen beautiful white roses in hand.
2. pumpkin spice donuts and gingerbread lattes at starbucks
3. henry's love of science and reading
4. harper's little silly faces and the way she makes me laugh all day long
5. out-of-the-blue guests for dinner - our neighbor, sean, and his daughter, maddie - and the fact that i had something yummy on the stove to share and the house wasn't horrendously dirty
6. housecleaners coming in 12 days to clean my house from top to bottom and everywhere in between!
7. another layout packaged up and ready to wing to cincinnati to memory makers
8. a 22 lb bird will have my name on it and be ready for pick-up the day before thanksgiving
9. the beautiful, warm weather the past two days and the amazing sunsets that accompanied it
10. even though marc's been gone more than he's been home in the past month and the kids and i have been left to fend for ourselves, we haven't killed each other, i haven't jumped off a cliff, and henry and i are still speaking.

and there is it. my grateful list for the week.

on a sadder note, my best friend just lost her mother to cancer on sunday. if you'd like to say a little prayer for sandra as she learns to cope without a mom, i would appreciate it.

sweet dreams, my dears.


i made two very important decisions today:

1. to hire housecleaners to come the day before all the skinners arrive for thankgiving so i can stop stressing about how i'll get housework done AND editing AND layouts AND photo proofing AND take care of the kids AND deal with all of marc's absenteeism (physical AND compassionate).

2. drink wine with dinner. more than one glass. yes.


for the love of orange. and blue.

it's no secret that i kinda like orange. and orange and blue is one of my fave color combos ever ... has been for quite some time. so imagine my excitement when i saw the new kit from my friend kirsten's kit club, those were the days!! wow. if you like serious orange and blue loveliness, go see the kit now!

and while you're at it, scroll down a little. she's having a dt call for her club that ends next week. looking at this kit, i'd say working with this club would rock. big boulder-type rock.